A Message from Susan:

Ever leave a party thinking, “Why did I say that?” You’re in good company. A recent study shows that roughly half of us feel jittery in social situations. And with the season of endless gatherings officially here, it is the perfect time to focus on social anxiety. 

This is what we have for this week: 

• It’s Not All About You (Really) 

• Overcome Social Anxiety 

• Gift Giving Gone Bad 

• Grab & Go 

It’s Not All About You (Really) 🙃

Personalization is a cognitive distortion that loves to steal the spotlight in social anxiety. It’s a thinking pattern that turns neutral moments into “about me” moments. The brain writes your name on experiences that have nothing to do with you, reinforcing feelings of being watched, judged, or evaluated.

At holiday parties, personalization can become internal self-talk that insists you’re the reason for everything. A distracted friend? “I must be boring.” A conversation that fizzles out? “I must’ve said something wrong.” Someone else’s bad mood? Suddenly your fault. These thoughts keep core beliefs like “I’m not very likeable” alive and kicking.

Breaking the spiral starts with pausing the automatic jump from observation to self-blame. Cognitive behavioral strategies help you check the story, consider more realistic explanations, and loosen the grip of old interpretations. Your beliefs shift and you realize most social moments aren’t about you at all.

Overcome Social Anxiety  🙌
Keep a few phrases in your back pocket.

Social anxiety spikes when you feel caught off guard, so give yourself a script. Simple open-ended questions shift the spotlight off you and onto the other person. 

• “That’s interesting…tell me more.” 

• “Really? I don’t know much about that…” 

• “So you’re saying…?” 

• “What do you think about it?” 

Share small stories, not life monologues. 
People with social anxiety often worry about oversharing or freezing up. Short, light personal stories are just enough to spark connection. 

Exit gracefully. 
If your anxiety starts climbing, bow out politely. You don’t have to stay in a marathon conversation. 

• “Excuse me, I’m going to grab a refill.” 

• “I’m going to check on the kids/desserts/kitchen for a second.” 

Don’t personalize. 
If someone gets passionate or preachy, remember it’s not about you. It’s about their mood, their beliefs, or their stress. 

Set realistic expectations. 
You don’t need to impress or perform. You just have to show up. 

Gift Giving Gone Bad 🎁😅

Have you seen the SNL sketch where a family opens presents on Christmas morning and dad gets extravagant gifts while mom gets a robe? Ouch. Here are a few tips when giving goes wrong: 

🎁 1. When the gift arrives very late 

“No worries at all. I’m just glad it made it here!” 

🎁 2. When someone spent way more than you 

“This is incredibly generous. Please know that having you here matters more to me than any present. 

🎁 3. When someone forgets your gift  

“Totally okay. The season is chaos. Let’s have a coffee date as your gift to me.” 

🎁 4. When they open your gift and look confused 

“Okay, there’s a story here so give me 20 seconds to explain!” 

Grab & Go

📚 Referrals + Resources

Young Living Essential Oils🌿

When your nerves start buzzing at holiday gatherings, let Peace & Calming Essential Oil Blend help you settle and breathe again. 🌿💛
It’s a gentle reminder that you can feel grounded and steady, even when the room feels a little overwhelming.

Click here and use ID number 1959113 for a 24% discount and personal support. ✨

Support the Young Living Foundation

What’s New in Mental Health?

This amazing website, from Renee Stavros Psy.D, provides holistic resources for psychological well-being.

psychologistsbookshelf.com 

Mel Robbins podcast: A practical Mel Robbins episode on redirecting your thoughts and energy.

Our book pick this week: How to Be Yourself by Dr. Ellen Hendriksen: A calm, practical companion for anyone navigating social anxiety.

📚 Got a podcast, playlist, or product that makes you a better human? We love sharing brain-friendly finds.

📩 Email: [email protected]

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