A Message from Susan:

Life skills are an interesting concept. When I work with kids, it is about pretty basic stuff like brushing teeth or getting along with siblings. With adults, it can be simple habits that develop over time and are not always effective or helpful. So today we are looking at a few underrated life skills that can make a big difference in your life. 

What we have for you this week:

• Mind the Gap

• It’s Not About the Fight

• Aristotle Got it Right

• Grab & Go 

Mind the Gap ⏸️

Emotional intelligence starts with your nervous system and knowing what’s actually happening inside you. Not just “I’m upset,” but am I angry anxious, embarrassed, or quietly annoyed? If you can’t tell the difference, your emotions will take charge and take you somewhere you don’t want to go. What matters is what happens inside you when you have a disagreement with your dad or your boss looks annoyed. 

The key life skill is learning to respond instead of react. Most of us personalize instantly, treating neutral feedback like a personal assault. Between stimulus and response, there’s a pause and three slow breaths can keep shame, anger, and defensiveness from grabbing control. It sounds incredibly simple, but interrupting the pattern creates a new pathway. The tiny pause, or  mindfulness gap, is where you stop reacting from negative emotions like embarrassment or irritation and start choosing a different response instead.

It’s Not About the Fight 🤝

Most relationships don’t fall apart because of what was said but because no one knew how to come back after it was said. Repair is the unglamorous life skill of returning after an argument without dragging a suitcase full of excuses, defenses, or courtroom-level evidence. It sounds like, “I see how you could take it that way,” not “That’s not what I said.” Psychology is clear that rupture will happen but repair can be seen as optional.

Here’s the twist. Most people miss that repair isn’t about being right. If you have a nervous system that can tolerate discomfort and can stay present long enough to listen and soften, you can re-establish safety in your relationship. People who can repair well don’t avoid conflict, they just know how to fix it.

And the good news? Repair is a skill, not a personality trait. It can be learned, practiced, and strengthened. You don’t need to be perfect in your relationships, you just have to know how to come back and try again.

Anyone can become angry - that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way - this is not easy.” - Aristotle

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Grab & Go

📚 Referrals + Resources

😊Stress Reliever

This amazing site lets you release a thought into the stars and watch them drift away. Click here.

Book Recommendation

Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg is a compassionate guide to communicating with more clarity, calm, and connection.

📚 Got a podcast, playlist, or product that makes you a better human? We love sharing brain-friendly finds.

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